An Ode to the Villains
by Colourful Darkness
Summary: Regina and Hook have some one on one time abroad the Jolly Roger and in Neverland. Based on S3. With a tragic history, can this two villains learn to love again?
1. Chapter 1

An ode to the villains

_Author Note: I am so excited by the season 3 premier of Once and I heard from spoilers that Regina and Hook are going to have some meaningful conversation about villains. So I wrote this. Please review. Lots of love. Colourful Darkness_

Regina stood in the tiny dark room, below deck of the Jolly Roger, softly crying. There was only a flickering lantern swinging above her head and the darkness seemed to engulf her. For once she found it comforting. There was no one here to disturb her. None of Snow's stupid optimistic words about how Henry was going to be okay, or Rumple's cold, superior eyes.

She leant against the wooden wall, hysterically sobs escaping her lips as though someone was tearing them from her. Henry. She wanted Henry back in her arms. Needed him like she needed to breathe.

Loud footsteps pulled Regina from her reverie. Someone was coming below deck. Regina quickly wiped her eyes and crouched down below a pile of empty boxes. She didn't want David or Snow see her cry, and definitely not Emma. She didn't care if it was Rumple. He has seen her cry so many times that he's probably lost count.

"What are you doing, love?" drawled Hook, emerging from the shadows. His boots clicking against the timber floor.

"What does it look like I'm doing?" snapped Regina, not bothering to hide her tears.

Hook walked towards her. "Get up Regina, stop feeling so bloody sorry for yourself."

"You have no empathy," spat Regina, looking up at him from where she was crouched.

"And I have no pleasure seeing you in this state; get up love." For once, Regina obeyed, and as she stood to her full height, she had never felt less like a Queen. "We will find your boy," said Hook, taking another step forward.

"You sound like Snow," said Regina with a sniffle. She wiped the remaining tears away with the sleeve of her shirt. "What are you doing down here anyway? Don't you have a ship to navigate?"

Hook smirked. "I wanted to talk to you actually…I wanted to apologise."

Regina frowned. "What for?"

"For backstabbing you in Storybrooke –"

"I backstabbed you first, there's no need Captain."

"But my betrayal led to Greg torturing you…and that was…" he faltered, "I'm sorry."

"I really brought it upon myself, but thank you for your sympathies."

"So we can go on being friends?"

"Acquaintances."

Hook nodded and began to walk away.

"Hook," said Regina. Hook stopped and looked back at her. "Do you ever think we'll be the people we once were?"

"What do you mean love?"

"Before I lost my love and you lost yours; before we both went on futile quests for revenge, and before I became the "evil" Queen."

"I dunno," said Hook, "but whatever anyone else says about you, you're not evil…freakin messed up…but not evil…"

Regina laughed. "Thank you, you're not that bad yourself."

Hook smiled. "I'm trying to be better. Me coming on this trip is my way of saying sorry to you, to Emma, and mostly Baelfire…"

"And because you don't want to be alone anymore?"

"Aye," said Hook, "and if you love, ever get sick of your loneliness, you to where to find me."

"Where?"

"My chambers…second door on the right, below deck."

And with that he ascended up the stairs and Regina couldn't help but roll her eyes.


	2. Chapter 2

_So excited for season 3. Happy reading. P.S I love reviews xxxx_

Regina didn't go to his cabin that night but she went the night after. The cabin was dark so used magic to light up her hand so she could see her destination in a view of clarity.

"Hook," she breathed, crawling up on the end of the bed noticing that he had lifted his head off his pillow to watch her.

"So you couldn't resist my offer, could ya?" His voice was sleepy but his bright eyes were alert as ever; shining like moons through the darkness.

"I don't want to sleep with you," she said walking until she was kneeling on the makeshift bed beside him.

"You don't?" drawled Hook. "Then why are you here?"

"I just want someone to hold me."

Hook stared at her unblinkingly. "Come 'ere," he said and then Regina felt a strong hand curling around her waist and pulling her down onto the bed. Hook pulled the blanket around her and she tucked her body against his. They layed facing each other, their arms entwined; hands resting on another like a double pray.

Somewhere outside on the deck, Regina heard the midnight ocean wind blow against the walls of the Hook's vessel, mingled with the gentle melody of the mermaids.

She closed her eyes, picturing the mermaids singing, of a girl with red hair…and it sounded so tragically beautiful that it almost sounded like an apology.

Regina knew that somewhere out there, Greg was waiting for them and Peter Pan was most likely sharpening his wit; that Rumple was probably spinning just to take is attention away from all the emotions running through his mind, the feelings Regina knew existed despite the endless calamity he displayed.

She knew, as she listened to the wind and the music, that she would find Henry and she now understood that she had true love all along.

Regina opened her eyes and looked at Hook. He was awake too and for a moment they just stared at each other in silence as the sound of the mermaids song faded into the murmurs of the night.

Regina turned around in Hook's arm so that he was spooning her.

"No funny business," she said softly. "I mean it."

She felt Hook smirk against her spine. "I wouldn't dream of it."


	3. Chapter 3

24hrs until season 3 premier. Who's exited? I'm hoping for some Hook/Queen. Happy reading and any reviews are appreciated - Colourful Darkness.

Regina was lying in Captain Hook's bed; he was already gone, so she assumed it must already be morning. Above her, on the deck, Regina heard a commotion. Loud voices and the slamming of timber. What was going on? Sitting up, Regina threw the blankets off her legs. She had just gotten to her feet when Hook burst through the door. His face was livid and there was blood on his hands, and on his chest; seeping over his already dark tunic.

"Is that blood?" asked Regina, running over to him. "What happened?"

"Oh, why don't you ask Prince Charming," snapped Hook. Of course it was David, thought Regina bitterly. Hook and David had been bickering through the entire voyage.

"Let me heal it for you," said Regina, stepping closer to him.

"No, I don't want your magic, love," said Hook, "reminds me too much of the crocodile."

Regina stared at him, annoyed. "So you're just going to sit here and bleed?"

Hook shrugged. "I'm sure it'll heal on its own."

"I'm not going to leave you here, bleeding," said Regina, "the wound could get infected."

Hook was paying much attention to her; he was still thinking about the fool, David.

"Fine," snapped Regina, "if you won't let me heal you and you're not going to tend yourself, then I'll do it the old fashion way." With that she conjured a bowl of water, antiseptic and a cloth.

"You're going to have to remove your tunic." Regina's voice was a whisper, filled with shyness and uncertainly. Hook blinked. This didn't sound like the brazen confident Queen, he knew.

He smiled wickedly. "If you want it off, take it off yourself."

Regina glared at him and put the bowl and cloth on the bedside table. Hook was sitting on the bed and she came to stand between his legs.

Suddenly Hook felt soft fingers on the buttons of his tunic. She was unbuttoning his top. It took her five minutes to peel the tunic off, revealing the contours of him underneath, sharp collarbones and ribcages, mottled with blood.

Regina reached for the cloth, dipped it in the water before bringing it to his wound.

Hook inhaled sharply and Regina looked at him.

"Surely a pirate like yourself has experienced more pain that this?"

Hook didn't say anything. He merely watched her as she repeated her actions again, the pain lessening this time.

"There all done," said Regina, five minutes later. "I'm sorry it's not as good as it would be if you had let me heal you."

When Hook didn't say anything again, Regina said, "Right, well I'm going to go speak to Mr Gold, about some "magical" stuff that might help us find Henry."

Hook eyes flashed. "You're going to the crocodile?"

"Yes," said Regina. She had just made her way to the cabin door when –

"Wait Regina." She stopped in her tracks. That was the first time he had said her name. He had always called her pet names like 'love' or 'your majesty.' She turned and looked at him, eyes wide.

"Thank you," he said.


	4. Chapter 4

Regina had just walked out from Rumple's room. He had some good plans about how they ought to find Henry. She walked across the deck. Across the other side of the vessel she saw Captain Hook steering. She walked over to him and he looked up as she approached.

"How was your meeting with Rumplestiltskin?"

"Fine," said Regina.

"Do you honestly think that crocodile knows more about Neverland than I do?" said Hook hotly. "Me, who's spent far longer in this damn place than he ever has."

"Gold knows his stuff," said Regina simply. "Plus it's not about Neverland, it's about magic. And you don't have any magic."

"Well," said Hook, spinning the wheel sharply. "If Rumplestilkin knows his stuff then why are you so anxious?"

"Because –" began Regina.

"I'll tell you why Regina; because deep down Neverland attacks our inner insecurities and deep down in ourselves we're all alone. We're lonely. It doesn't matter how much we pretend otherwise, we're lonely and it frightens us. Your magic or Rumplestiltskin's magic isn't going to solve that!"

"What are you saying?" said Regina.

"That Neverland is about accepting who you really are."

"And who am I?" said Regina coldly, expecting him to say the "evil queen".

"I dunno, love," said Hook softly. "Only you know who you truly are."

"Well thank you for your advice," said Regina, beginning to walk away "but I don't have time for your sentimentalities; all I care about is finding my son and so far it's not going very well."

"Well you majesty," said Hook, almost sarcastically, "I beseech you to never give up."

"No," said Regina, equally as sarcastic, but deep down meaning it. "I will never give up."

_What did everyone think of the S3 premier? I thought it was pretty epic. Lots of love - Colourful Darkness_


	5. Chapter 5

It was night time and Regina couldn't get to sleep, alone in the tiniest room of the Jolly Roger. So she decided to walk outside on the deck. The evening wind caressed her face as she made her way across the ship.

Captain Hook was still steering and for some reason she wasn't surprised.

"How long til we reach Neverland?" she asked him as she approached.

He spun the wheel with his hook. "A day."

Regina nodded. "Do you know what the worse thing about all this?"

"What love?"

"I genuinely tried to change for Henry. I wanted to be the mother he wanted but it just couldn't happen. I'm too messed up to even do that; to put aside my magic and be the person he wanted me to be. And now I fear I'm going to turn back to darker magic to get Henry back and in the end, it's not gonna make him happy, because that's not who he wants me to be."

"That's a personal dilemma that only you can solve," said Hook.

"What's your story then Captain?" asked Regina. "Why is it that in every land you've ever lived in you're so alone?"

Hook raised an eyebrow, a tiny smirk on his lips.

"It's simpler that way," he said. "Why would I surround myself with people who cannot understand me? Why would I put trust in those people, when I am aware that they would betray me given a sufficient reason?" Hook shakes his head and looks at Regina. "Can you honestly say that it isn't better to trust solely in yourself and your own abilities, love?

"I suppose."

Suddenly it began to drizzle. They were both silent for a moment.

"It's raining," said Regina, feeling stupid that she was pointing out the obvious,

Hook looked at the sky. "Yes it is."

Regina took a deep breath, and said, "Can I sleep with you again tonight Killain?"

Hook seemed taken aback that she had used his proper name, but his surprise was soon replaced with his typical flirtatious arrogance.

"Sleep with me?" he repeated, raising an eyebrow. "Wouldn't that cause quite the scandal, your majesty?"

"I-I meant stay with you?" corrected Regina flustered.

He smiled, and nodded. "Having a warm body next to me is a temptation I can hardly refuse."


	6. Chapter 6

Regina was in his arms. A tear ran down her cheek, warm and salty as it vanished at the corner of her mouth. For a second she didn't understand why she was crying. Then she remembered. Henry. And then Emma; blabbing about how she was Henry's true mother. Everything was so unfair.

"Let it all out love," said Hook, wrapping his arms tighter around her. She muffled her face into his bare chest as hysterical sobs escaped her lips, as though someone was ripping them from her.

"There, there…" She felt his lips near her ear, warm and whispering. His one and only hand was caressing her hair softly. She never knew he could be so gentle. It took a long time before she was calm again. Minutes, hours perhaps…she did not know. Hook continued to stroke her hair and whisper nonsense in her ear. She felt his chin, resting on her head and his lips in her hair. She tilted her head and looked at him, her eyes raw and red.

"Better?" he asked.

"Better," she sniffled, wiping away the remaining tears.

"I'm glad."

Then before she knew it, his lips were on her, soft but firm and she kissed him back. He tasted like rum and smelt like the sea. His lips were gentle and she never imagined that he could kiss so softly. She didn't know which one of them broke away first.

"I'm sorry, love," said Hook, sitting up in bed.

"Don't be," said Regina, straddling him, "I need this; I really need to be loved right now." She kissed him again hard. It had been so long. The last man she had been with was Graham and that had been a while ago.

Hook pushed her away. "Regina you're not thinking straight."

"I am," she said fiercely, running her hands down his bare chest, "and I know you, Captain…" she whispered, cupping him through his pants. "When do you ever refuse a girl?" He was already hard.

Hook stared at her unblinkingly, "only when I actually care for her."

Regina stared at him. He was lying on the bed looking at her so sincerely that it looked strange on a face that was usually so arrogant and smug. Her eyes welled and her vision became blurry. She got off him.

"This is all too much," she whispered. "Henry, Snow, Pan, Emma…you…it's all too much." The last thing she heard as she ran out of his cabin and into the rain was his voice, calling her name.

_Finally a kiss. Tell me what you guys think. xx_


	7. Chapter 7

Regina ran out onto the deck, rain hitting her skin with cutting stings. Her heart felt lost, cold and numb, like her skin and she ran to the railing and looked over it, watching as the brutal waves crashed against the ship. The wind howled, shrieked and messed up her hair. From somewhere on the other side of the deck, she heard Hook calling out her name. Instantly, she made herself invisible. She didn't want to talk to him. She wanted to be left alone. Didn't he get that?

She watched him walk across the deck; his wet hair plastered against his face. "Regina?" She remained invisible.

"Hook?" a new voice broke through the constant splat of rain. Turning around, Regina saw Emma walking across the deck. "What are you doing out here?"

"Nothing love," said Hook, leaning against the bars casually, "have you seen Regina?"

"No," said Emma, "I thought she was with you."

"Well, yeah, she was…"

"What happened?" asked Emma, coming to stand beside him. _Damn Emma Swan. That nosy brat_, thought Regina as she watched, unbeknownst to them, as they talked.

"We just had a little misunderstanding; she can a bit irrational at times."

Emma raised her eyebrows. "You reckon? She's the evil Queen for crying out loud; I think it's in her blood to be irrational."

Hook chuckled in agreement but to Regina the sound felt like a harsh slap.

"Oh, I think it's just her high-bred nature shining through," said Hook. "She'll always be nothing more than the spoilt Queen, who always has to be the one in control and never gives a damn about anyone else."

Emma shrugged. "Yeah, but at least she has Henry's best interests at heart." They smiled at one another. "Anyway I'm gonna get out of the rain before I catch a cold. I don't want to be sick when I face Pan."

Hook bidded Emma goodnight and watched her walk away. Hook's casually cruel words lingered in Regina's mind like a horrible song set on repeat and she felt her invisibility magic wearing away. She couldn't concentrate on staying invisible when his horrible remarks plagued her mind.

"Bloody hell, love," said Hook as Regina appeared before him. All of a sudden the colour on his face drained. "How much did you here?"

"Everything," said Regina softly. The rain was hammering down hard now. Regina began to walk away.

"Wait, Regina," called Hook, grabbing her arm and pulling her back. "Can we talk?"

"Fine," said Regina, pulling away from his grasp. "We can talk. You've made your assumptions about me, why don't I give it a shot?" Regina's eyes flicked dangerously. "Let's see." Regina raised her hand to her chin as though pretending to think. "You grew up in some poverty-stricken town, which consequently didn't give you the drive to get a real job, so you moved into a land that probably doesn't even have a name…and because of your heartbreak over Gold's wife, you wandered aimlessly around…thinking you're some cool nomad, when the truth is you're just a wannabe at everything, and you know what? Your thirst for revenge probably comes from the fact that you have nothing else to live for…" Regina took a deep breath and glared at Hook, her hands on her hips. "So, am I close?"

Hook smiled tightly, almost painfully. "Neverland."

"What?" said Regina.

"The land with no name," said Hook drily, "is called Neverland…and we're there right now."

Regina turned and looked out at the water, watching as an eerie island emerged from the rain and mist.


	8. Chapter 8

The island rose before them like the sun.

"It's beautiful isn't?" said Hook, watching her face for expression. For a moment, Regina forgot she was angry with him.

"Yes," she said softly. "Terrifyingly beautiful." The first vision that came to Regina's eyes was the outline of the island, shaped like a clover. To the east she was saw an emerald coloured lagoon that looked silver in the moonlight and to the west the land was covered in the darkest of jungles.

Hook walked over to the wheel and began slowing the ship down.

"I spent many years here," he said, urging her to follow him. She did.

"So I've heard," said Regina drily. "You and Gold alike."

"Don't compare me to the crocodile."

Regina shrugged. "It's merely a fact."

"Well here's the real fact – the oh so mighty dark one has abandoned us, he's ran away…he's a coward and he always will be."

"He's going to find my son," she said, unmoved.

"You trust him."

"I trust him more than I trust you."

"I suggest you control that feisty little mouth of yours love," said Hook with a devilish smile, "because I'm the only person here who truly knows the heart of Neverland. You need me. You need to trust me."

"Yes," said Regina with a cold laugh. "I need to trust a pirate. A pirate that threw me to a pair of magic-haters who nearly tortured me to death, and then tried blow up Storybrooke. Oh, and then you ran away with the last magic bean. Tell me, Captain are there any more reasons I should trust you?"

Hook flinched. "I'm sorry love…"

Regina's eyes flashed dangerously and her voice came out as a hiss. "I am not your love."

She strolled across the deck. The rain had stopped.

"Where are you going?" yelled Hook.

She whirled around, "to wake up Emma and those two idiots to tell them we have arrived in Neverland."

Regina woke them up. Together, with the saviour, the princess, the prince and the pirate, Regina took her first step on Neverland's soft sand. She could feel the island's magic pulsing beneath her feet. Not dark magic, but unusual; incredibly sinister. Regina walked at the rear of the pack, watching Hook flirt with Emma – "I quite fancy you when you're not yelling at me." Regina wanted to scream at Hook and maybe douse him in horrible magic. Instead she swallowed her anger and jealously and bit her lip. She walked until her anger dissipated, and was surprised to find that it was replaced with deep sadness. She felt profound and bruised; like there was a basin inside her heart that only Daniel or Henry could fill. But she also felt hope with Hook and all the possibilities her future held, until he went and called her a spoilt, infuriating Queen and started flirting with Emma instead.

David's voice broke Regina's reverie.

"Hook, where are we going?" Of course Hook had taken the role of navigator just like Emma had taken the role of leader. Regina guessed she was just the evil, pitiful sidekick.

"Hook," said Regina icily. "Didn't you hear the prince? Where are we going? Do you even have a plan?"

"I heard you love," said Hook, not bothering to turn around. His boots crunched as he walked over the debris of forest. "And yes I have a plan."

"Do enlighten me."

"First we're going to find a certain fairy."

_A/N Thank you all for your lovely comments. What'd everyone think of the Lost Girl? I was a little bit disappointed. Hope you guys like my story so far. _


	9. Chapter 9

They travelled for two nights, venturing deeper into the dark woods. The forest was green and infinite; the trees made strange whispering noises as though they were conversing to each other in a foreign tongue. _They probably are_, thought Regina as she sat at the edge of their makeshift camp and listened to the soft susurration of the leaves. Everyone else was sitting across the far side of the camp, leaving Regina alone. Even Hook had scampered next to Emma and they were both taking turns of drinking out of his rum bottle.

Regina crossed her arms over her chest as she felt the chilly night wind. Hugging herself tighter, Regina felt that her arms might protect her, not merely from the cold, but from anyone, getting inside her heart. Sitting there, alone, watching Hook flirt with Emma, Regina finally understood why her mother had ripped her own heart out. Regina touched her chest temptingly, feeling her steady heartbeat beneath her fingertips. _No_, she thought, ripping her hands away. She couldn't tear her heart out and discard it just because she didn't want to feel the way she did about Hook. Because, if she did, that would mean she would lose all the love she had for Henry as well. She could never do that. Henry's love was all she wanted.

Standing up, Regina began to walk away from the campsite and into the forest. She couldn't stand watching Hook and Emma talking together. It made her want to vomit.

She had only walked for five minutes, when she heard harsh footsteps breaking across dry leaves and branches. She whirled around, a ball of magic already in her hand.

"Who's there?" she yelled, holding the magic higher.

"It's only me," drawled Hook, coming out from a nearby bush. "Care if I join you on this walk?"

Regina shrugged but didn't complain when he stepped along beside her. They walked in silence but Regina's lips were bubbling with unfair accusations that she could no longer contain.

"You seem rather friendly with Emma," said Regina, her voice cold.

Hook raised an eyebrow. "Jealous, are we?"

"No," said Regina, too quickly. Hook's brows arched higher.

"Regina…" Hook began, reaching out his only hand to touch her arm. Instinctively, Regina threw up her hand and blew him backwards so that he collided into a tree. She then made the vines wrap around his torso, so he was hanging against the tree, like some sort of doll. Regina had no idea of what made her do it. Perhaps it was all the anger, sadness and loneliness that had been building up inside her chest for the last few days. Or maybe it was the sense of vulnerability she felt ever since setting foot on this island.

"Hook," she began, trying to apologise. She flicked her wrist, trying to magical untangle the vines. Nothing happened. Regina was surprised to see that Hook was still smirking that arrogant smirk of his, despite the fact he was tied to a tree.

"Jealously does dreadful things, doesn't it, love?"

"I'm not jealous," repeated Regina, louder this time.

Hook smiled and looked down at the vines that were wrapped around his torso.

"Your magic is very powerful," he said, tugging against the vines. "It's arousing really."

Regina looked down at her hands, wondering why she couldn't reverse the spell. She looked back up Hook.

"If you're attempting to woo me with flattery, I'm afraid it's not going to work."

"We will see," said Hook with a wink. Regina closed her eyes, remembering something Rumplestiltskin had told her when she was learning magic; something that he had told her mother as well. _Conjure a moment in your mind that made you so angry that you would kill if you could_. Regina thought of Emma and Hook together, kissing and suddenly she heard a loud groan as Hook fell to the forest floor.

Regina opened her eyes.

"Thanks for letting me down love," said Hook, brushing the leaves of his tunic. Regina didn't say anything. She was still looking down at her hands. She hadn't had a problem with magic in years. Why now? Was it something to do with Neverland? She couldn't afford to lose her magic now that Pan was lurking about.

"Regina…do you want to talk? Are you having problems with magic?" asked Hook.

"No," said Regina softly. "Please just go…"

"Regina –"

"JUST GO!"

"Fine," said Hook, slamming his metal hook against the tree. "I'll leave you here to think." Somewhere in her subconscious, she heard Hook walk away. Looking at her hands, she attempted to light them on fire. A tiny flame flickered from her fingertips, swirled then died.

"Damn it," said Regina, under her breath as she tried again.

"Having trouble with magic, your majesty?" said a cold, unfamiliar voice. Regina whirled around in fright. Out of nowhere, someone hit her over the head with a club. The pain was like an axe splitting her skull apart. Regina fell to the ground, darkness engulfing her and leaves falling onto her closed eyelids.

_Cliff-hanger! What'd you guys think?_


	10. Chapter 10

Regina hit the forest floor with a thump. Every muscle in her body screamed in protest. She went black for a moment and then she felt it – pain, pain, pain. Pain from her leg, from her head, from her shoulder, arm and ribs…

"Get up," said a lazily cold voice from above. The hairs on the back of Regina's neck stood erect and her heart was pounding wildly, like a trapped bird in a cage. Slowly, Regina got to her feet; her dark hair falling over her eyes.

"Good…good," came the slow, mocking voice of one of the lost boys. The lost boy was tall with an angular face and blonde hair. He carried a menacing club in one hand. Regina looked around. She was still in the forest, in the same spot she had fallen. Her eyes flickered; searching her surrounding warily. There were other lost boys hiding in the bushes. She knew that. She could feel their smugness.

"Regina right?" said the tall lost boy. "The evil Queen?"

Regina nodded and smiled. "The evilest." _Act like the Queen you once were,_ she told herself as she gazed at the boy unblinkingly. "And what's your name lost boy?"

"Felix."

"Well Felix," she said. "Is there any particularly reason you ambushed me?"

Felix smirked. "I think you know."

"No," said Regina. "I don't."

"Well Pan has told me to kill one of you…the one that is the greatest threat…and that is _you_."

Regina let out a cold laugh, thinking about her weak magic and the fact she didn't even have a sword. Subtly, Regina wiggled her fingers, hoping to feel some sense of magic.

"Me?" she said, still laughing. "I'm not the greatest threat. Emma Swan is….she's the saviour."

Regina's fingertips tingled.

"No," said Felix, "we've heard legends that you enacted a curse so powerful that it ripped everyone away from the enchanted forest and took them to a world where there were no happy endings."

Regina ignored him and changed the subject – "Where's my son?"

"Your son?" repeated Felix. "I thought he was Emma's son."

"He's _mine_."

Felix laughed. "Messy family relations? I feel that we will have no problems converting Henry to a lost boy after all."

A magical force exploded from Regina's palm, throwing Felix against the trunk of a nearby tree, just as it had done to Captain Hook a few moments before.

"You will tell me where my son is," said Regina, cornering Felix and wrapping a slender hand around his throat. "Because if you don't, I will fight you every step of the way. I will haunt you with the cruellest of curses. I will get every acquaintance of mine to block every lost boy you throw at me, and I will kill anyone that stands in the way of me and my son. I swear, in the end, I will make you wish that you never knew what regret felt like."

Regina felt something cold and slender against her neck. Slowly, she looked down to see a silver blade digging into her throat.

"Let Felix go," said another one of the lost boys. Regina knew she was surrounded by many foes. She stepped away, her hands above her head_. Think of something bloodthirsty_, she told herself, _something that makes you want to kill_. She thought of Henry all alone in Neverland. She would kill for him. She will kill a thousand lost boys for him.

Regina looked at the army of boys circling her, all carrying strange weapons; batons, clubs, spears, daggers and bows and arrows.

"This is a warning boys," she said, her hands still in the customary surrender position. "I will let you all go today but if you ever touch me again, I _will_ kill you."

And with that she threw her hands down. The ground began to shake like an earthquake. All the lost boys were blasted off their feet. Regina watched them fall with satisfaction. They weren't dead. Just unconscious.

Regina fell to her knees. She felt exhausted; so sleepy as though someone had sucked all her strength from her. She layed down in a bed of forest leaves, amongst the fallen lost boys. From somewhere in the distant, she heard a stampede of footsteps. The sound ebbed and flowed, getting further and further away, until she didn't hear it at all. Regina felt serene and weightless, happy to be drifting off.

The last thing she saw before the darkness won its battle was a scruff face and the curve of a metal hook.

The last thing she heard was Hook's concerned voice – "Regina? Love?"

His voice sounded like a song.


	11. Chapter 11

"Is she okay?"

"I dunno."

"Wait…I think she's waking."

"Thank gosh."

There was a golden glow beyond Regina's eyelids; a bright otherworldly glow. Her first thought was that she was in limbo. Her second thought was that she was already dead. Did the afterlife really smell like smoke and moist earth? And what was that sound? Someone was speaking to her.

"Regina…it's time to wake up now…you got to wake up." The person's voice ebbed and flowed like waves crashing against the shore. Slowly, her eyes flickered open. Regina wanted nothing more than to sink back into the soft oblivion she had awoken from. Instead her surroundings became slightly clearer.

A dim light swung to and fro over Regina's head. Just watching it made her feel fizzy and sent dull stabs of pain through her head. She felt like someone had hit over the head with a club. And then she remembered that someone had. She closed her eyes, wishing the pain would go away.

"Are you okay, Regina?" said a man's voice. Regina opened her eyes but it was so hard. There were many faces peering down at her; Emma, blonde and wide-eyed, Snow, round-faced and sympathetic and Hook, concerned and dark. Yet the first person she saw was David, leaning over her, holding a flickering lantern in one hand. She looked at him.

"Yes," she whispered. It took all her strength to utter the single word.

Slowly, Regina's vision returned to her as though someone was peeling translucent layers off her eyes. She was lying in a makeshift bed in a tent. From what she could tell, she was still in Neverland's dark jungle. Regina tried to sit up but failed.

"Are you thirsty love?" asked Hook, pushing passed David. "Here. Drink."

Hook gently raised her head, tipping a cup of water to her cracked lips. The water was heavenly; cold and therapeutic against her stinging throat and lips. Regina sculled the water down like a dehydrated child.

"More?" asked Hook.

Regina shook her head, feeling sick from the way she had sculled down the previous cup. Her cracked lips ached for more but she knew her churning stomach wouldn't handle it.

She closed her eyes. Her head was throbbing fiercely. Lifting up one hand, Regina reached up to rub the top of her tender scalp but as soon as her fingers made contact with the surface of her hair, a sharp pain shot through her skull.

Regina cried out and dug her fingers into her long hair, trying to massage the pain away with gentle fingertips. She could feel a lump forming beneath the thick layers of her hair.

"You got hit hard," said Snow, in a sorry voice. Regina glanced at her, remembering a moment so very like this one, when Snow had tended her wounds in a tent in a forest.

"Who did it to you?" asked David.

"Felix," said Regina, "and his gang of lost boys. He said Pan wants to kill me."

"Kill you?" cried Snow, "but why would he do that when he has given Emma a map to find Henry?"

"Because I'm the greatest threat." Regina glared at Snow as she spoke in a voice that was soft but seemed to echo. "Because I'm the evil Queen."

For a moment, no one said anything, and then – "We won't let them get you," said David. "I won't let them hurt any of you."

"I feel so reassured," said Regina, sitting up.

"Not that she needs your protection prince," said Hook drily, "she did pretty well handling the lost boys herself. Didn't you see them all? Sprawled on the ground like flies?"

David glared at Hook.

"Guys, stop bickering," said Emma. _Typical of the saviour to be the peacemaker as well_, thought Regina. "We should let Regina rest. She's been through enough today."

"Thank you Miss Swan," said Regina with a tight smile. Together Emma, Snow and David left the tent. Hook was the only one who remained behind.

"I didn't know you had in in you…" said Hook, kneeling down beside her.

"Sorry what?"

"I didn't know that you had all that power in you; you're almost as scary as the crocodile."

Regina smiled wearily. "There's much you don't know about me." Regina layed down on the bed again; her head still throbbing. "There are many things that history forgot about me…" She looked at Hook, her eyes filled with sorrow. "I fought on the battlefields too. I led thousands of men…I have tamed beasts, lost love and nearly moved mountains…but the fairytales…the legends portray me as an evil sorceress who sits in a castile, in front of a magic mirror and watches her men, do her bidding. My men hardly did my bidding…everything I've done, I've done myself. History has forgotten everything I've done. And Henry's fairytale book has turned me into a myth."

Hook was staring at her intently and she continued speaking.

"I am the evil Queen," she murmured, "I use to be strong."

"You've never stop being strong."

"I don't feel strong now."

"We will find Henry, Regina." At the sound of Henry's name, Regina thought of him, and she prayed that he was alright.

"I promised him that he wouldn't be alone," said Regina, more to herself than to Hook. "That'd he have at least one of us, even Emma for as long as he wasn't alone…and now he's alone in Neverland…he's lost."

"We're all lost children in this land," said Hook. Neither of them said anything. The two villains sat in the tent opposite one another, listening to the sound of the wind billowing against the choir of the night.

A/N: Thanks to everyone's beautiful messages and reviews. Especially those who are reviewing on most chapters – tap-Violeta, bloodymary2, Grace5231973, .x23, PoisonAppleTurnovers and that Guest who keeps asking for a jealous Hook (I'll try to give you one in the upcoming chapters). If any of you are interested in some of my original work, check out my YA/fantasy story on Fictionpress - s/3158154/1/The-Crossroad I would love your reviews and feedback on it. If you notice any similar sentences and dialogue from this fic in that story, just note that I used some of my own character dialogue and incorporated them to fit in some scenes of this OUAT fic.

Anyway I do have a fair bit of university assignments and exams coming up, but I'd definitely do my best to update this fic frequently. Once again thank you all for your love and support.


	12. Chapter 12

That night, Regina dreamt of Daniel. The dream started to fade and Regina felt the scratchiness of the blanket beneath her legs, feeling its roughness graze her calf muscles from where her pants had crept up in her sleep. She tossed and turned. _It's time to wake up. I must wake up._ There was a rough grip on her shoulder, shaking her. "Regina! Regina, wake up." She had the sensation of gravity pulling her up as though she was tumbling from one dimension to another and she jolted awake, looking around wildly.

Hook was standing above, dressed in his customary dark outfit. Regina noticed that his hair was awry and his dark eyes were rimmed with sleep.

"You were screaming," he said softly.

"Oh man," said Regina, sitting up and pulling the blankets off her legs. Why had she screamed? Fear was never usually a part of her dreams. She looked up at Hook, towering above her. "I'm sorry; I didn't mean to wake you."

Hook sat down next to her. "Do you want to talk about it?"

_No_, thought Regina but her lips betrayed her and she said, "I had a dream about Daniel."

"Daniel?" enquired Hook.

"My lover…" said Regina, "my fiancée…he had been my everything…my one and only love…he would have been my happy ending."

Hook looked away and Regina saw jealously in his eyes and she felt it through her magic.

"Are you jealous that I love someone else Hook?" asked Regina, smiling.

Hook didn't look her in the eye. "Of course not love."

Regina looked at him cynically and he sighed and said, "maybe just a little bit."

"You shouldn't be jealous of a dead man, Hook…plus you have Emma Swan to swoon over."

"Me and Emma are just friends," said Hook. He looked at her with impassive eyes. "What happened to him? Daniel. How did he die?"

"My mother ripped his heart out and crushed it right in front of me."

"It's seems we're similar in more ways than just our villainous veneers," said Hook. "Rumplestiltskin did that to Milah too."

"I'm sorry," said Regina quietly and she truly meant it.

"Me too," replied Hook, "and I'm sorry how I've been treating you lately and for all those things I said to you on board the Jolly Roger, I shouldn't have said any of that, I truly didn't mean any of it…"

"It's okay," said Regina. "So we're back to being friends?"

"I want to be more than your friend, love," said Hook and then suddenly his lips were on hers, soft and warm and Regina kissed him back just as fiercely. This time he tasted familiar, like she knew exactly how their lips fitted together. Hook trailed kisses down her jaw and neck and she ran a hand through his soft hair. Regina wondered where all this newfound passion came from. Was he really jealous that she still loved Daniel with all her heart? Or maybe Emma had got tired of his flirting, so he came crawling back to her instead. Whatever the reason, Regina wasn't complaining.

Regina sighed and kissed him again. He tasted as good as magic. Hook was fumbling with the buttons of her blouse one-handed and that's when Regina came to her senses.

"Get off me," she said, pushing him away.

"What?" Hook looked at her with an expression so raw, it was as though she had torn his heart out and squeezed it. "Did I do something wrong…I thought you wanted this?"

"I do," hissed Regina. "Just not here with Snow and Charming sleeping in the tent next door."

Hook rolled onto the ground next to her with a soft groan. "The first time, I reject you and the second time you reject me…we really are amateurs at love."

After a time of lying apart from each other, Regina crawled over to him and rested her head on his chest, despite the fact that he is filthy of dirt and leaves. Silently, Hook wrapped his good arm around her and pulled her close to him.

"I need you Killian," whispered Regina. "I've been alone for such a long time…I don't want to scare you away by saying this…but I need you."

Hook pulled Regina a little closer and kissed her forehead softly. She felt his stubble scratching her skin.

"I think I need you too," said Hook.


	13. Chapter 13

The next day they walked for many hours, trying to locate Pixie Hollow, to find some fairy friend of Hook's. David took the lead, trekking through the forest and cutting down branches in their path with the swish of his sword. Snow and Emma walked behind him, not talking to each other and not even looking each other in the eye. The tension between them was so high that Regina could feel its radiation from where she was walking a few meters behind. Hook was walking beside her, casually sharpening his hook with a blade.

"You know what Hook?" began Regina. "I've known you quite some time – in fairytale land and Storybrooke…and I've realised that I_ actually_ don't know anything about you."

"Mmm," agreed Hook, "just the way I don't really know you either." Regina looked ahead at Emma and Snow walking together, thinking about how they were in the same boat as well.

"How many worlds have you lived in?" asked Regina.

"Four," said Hook, as he ticked them off his fingers. "The Enchanted Forest, Wonderland, Neverland and Storybrooke."

"Which one was your favourite?"

"As much as I love the Enchanted Forest, Storybrooke certainly as its charms."

"It does, doesn't it?" said Regina. They walked in silence for a moment. "Tea or coffee?" asked Regina randomly. Hook's brow frowned in confusion.

"Coffee, I guess."

"Day or night?"

"Night."

"Sea or land?"

Hook smiled at this question. "Sea."

"Ever used magic?"

"Regina," said Hook. "What are you doing?"

"Getting to know you better," said Regina, "so have you ever used magic?"

"No, the most magic I've ever used is a giant's bean and an enchanted Hook."

Regina smiled at him, remembering the time she had enchanted his hook.

"Do you have any clothes that aren't black?" asked Regina.

"Hasn't anyone ever told you that you ask too many questions?" replied Hook.

"Was that a rhetorical question?" asked Regina.

Hook snorted. "There we go again, another question." Regina rolled her eyes.

"So your majesty, any other questions?" asked Hook in a playful voice.

"Yes," said Regina. "Tell me about this fairy we're looking for."

"What do you want to know about her?"

"Everything," said Regina. "But firstly, what is her name?"

"Tinkerbell."

Regina blinked. _Tinkerbell_. The memories all came flooding back to her as she remembered the blonde haired fairy in the green dress.

_A/N: Sorry this one is so short. Who's excited to meet Tinkerbell in tomorrow's episode? I wonder what the relationship between Regina and Tink is like._


	14. Chapter 14

Regina could not believe it. Tinkerbell! Hook knew Tinkerbell. She could tell this was not going to end well, particularly with her complicated history with the green fairy.

Regina stayed silent for the rest of the journey towards Pixie Hollow; Tinkerbell's alleged lodge and when they got close to the destination, Regina hesitated. Emma was the only one who noticed and she told her that it was best she did not intrude on the fairy's domain; otherwise they would have no chance at finding Henry. So Regina sat on a lonely log in the forest and waited for the rest of the group to come back from searching Tink's tree house.

Regina had only sat still for a few moments, when she sensed Tinkerbell's gloomy presence, just the way she had felt Pan's smugness.

"Let's get this over with, shall we?" said Regina, standing up.

Tinkerbell emerged from the forest. "A complicated history? That's quite a diplomatic way of describing it." Regina looked at the fairy. She was dressed in a garment of leaves, and her blonde hair was awry and mixed with earth. Her face was streaked with dirt too, highlighting hollow cheeks.

"You look terrible," said Regina.

Tinkerbell's eyes flashes. "You trying to provoke me?"

So Tink wanted to play just like Pan? Well, Regina was going to give her one heck of a game.

"Come and get me Tinkerbell," she hissed.

"You think you're so smart," said Tinkerbell, stepping forward. "But you are going to fail." Suddenly, Tinkerbell blew some dust into Regina's face. At first, Regina thought it was pixie dust, but before she fell, she knew it was something else…it wasn't magic. Regina collapsed onto the forest floor.

Regina stirred. She was lying on a hard floor. It felt like a cave. Regina sat up. Her hands were tied together. Tinkerbell was sitting on a rock a few feet away, her face hard.

"About time you woke up," she said. "I've been looking forward to this chat for quite some time."

"You don't know why I'm here…" began Regina.

"Oh, I know exactly why you're here. You're trying to find your son."

"Looking at my restraints, I don't think you'll be helping."

"Hell no!" said Tinkerbell. "You are the last person I'd ever help, considering how you burnt me."

"Burned you?" exclaimed Regina. "You're the one who interfered in my life."

"And threw away my own in the process."

"So what do you want from me?" asked Regina. "To kill me? You think it's that easy? Whatever you knocked me out with, I can tell it's not magic. Maybe poppies? But they're wearing off." Regina stood up. Her legs felt like jelly. "And since you had to result to that – it only means one thing – you don't have magic." Regina straightened up to her full height, so that she towered over the fairy. "But I do." She snapped her restraints but before she had time to do anything else, Tinkerbell lunged forward and pressed an arrow against Regina's neck. She could feel the tip digging into her skin.

"Yeah, I know," said Tinkerbell, holding the arrow steady. "Even you're magic can't stop this." She indicated to the arrow, before looking back at Regina. "Ever heard of Dream shade?"

Regina swallowed. "Yes."

"Good."

Regina stared at Tinkerbell, speechless; a maelstrom of memories and thoughts filtering through her mind.

"How the hell did you get like this?" she asked.

"I met you," snarled Tinkerbell.

"Okay, you wanna kill me?" said Regina. "I can make it easier." Without any warning, Regina dug her hand into her chest and pulled out her heart. She gasped as she pulled the glowing heart from her chest. It was nearly all black. For Regina, it wasn't an unfamiliar sight. Once she had ripped out her own heart to see how far she had travelled down the path of darkness.

"Ww-hat are you –ˮ began Tinkerbell.

"You want to kill me? Well don't let the poison do it. You should do it!" Tentatively, she held out her heart to the fairy. Tinkerbell did not take it.

"Go ahead, crush it!" She tilted her heart, further in offering. Her internal voice was berating herself. _Why the hell are you giving up your heart?_

"You don't think I won't take it?" snapped Tinkerbell.

"Oh, I'm counting on it," said Regina with asperity. " Show me who you are Tinkerbell."

"Gladly." Tinkerbell reached and took the heart and squeezed it. Regina felt like someone had plunged a knife into her empty chest. A moaned filled the cave and it took her a moment to realise it was her own.

Tinkerbell walked across the cave, still holding Regina's heart between her tiny hands.

"Do you know what you cost me?" she asked.

Regina stared at her questioningly and as Tinkerbell turned around realisation hit her.

"Your wings…" she whispered, mortified.

"Why?" said Tinkerbell suddenly.

"Why what?" asked Regina. "Why did I hand over my heart?"

Tinkerbell whirled around and turned on Regina angrily. "No! Why did you lie? Because I've been over it a million times and that spell worked. You never went in. It's the only explanation. Why couldn't you just go through that door and meet your soul mate. Was being happy such a terrible fate?"

"Yes," said Regina, even surprising herself. "Yes it was." Tinkerbell looked taken aback but Regina continued talking. "You're right I never went in. I was afraid. I-I you said I could let go of the anger that was weighing me down and suddenly it felt that without it was nothing. Anger was all I had. What would I be without it?"

"Happy."

Regina shook her head. "Weak."

"And look what good it did you." There was a pregnant pause. "Cause I'm holding your heart in my hands and I'm not hearing one reason not to squeeze it to ash."

"Okay," said Regina. "You want a reason, here you go. You think I was afraid. You think I did the wrong thing? Well fairy, right now, you're making the same choice. I picked revenge over hope and you're holding the result." They both stared down at her black heart beating between Tink's pale and slender hands. "If you make the same choice I did, what you're looking at is your own future."

Tinkerbell jerked away.

"I'm not going to tell you what to do," continued Regina. "Kill me or act like the fairy you are."

"You said I was a terrible fairy," said Tinkerbell and Regina heard the hurt in her voice

"Well then prove me wrong. Pick hope over anger. Chose love and help me get my son back."

"You love your son?" asked Tinkerbell.

"Very much." For a moment that only movement was the reflection of Regina's heart as it glowed brighter. She smiled. Her heart even glowed when she thought of Henry. If that wasn't love, then what is? "With Henry I finally got something right…do you want to be able to say the same thing?

"It's too late for me."

"Only if you kill me."

Tinkerbell glared at her.

"I won't kill you but I won't help you either," said Tinkerbell. "Besides it's probably too late. He's been with him too long." Regina knew that she was talking about Pan. Tinkerbell handed Regina back her heart and walked away. Regina looked down at her dark heart and then shoved it back into her chest, feeling as though she could breathe again.

When she left the cave, a few minutes later, Regina found all her comrades surrounding and cornering Tinkerbell with their swords.

"It's okay," said Regina stepping forward. "She's not going to hurt us; just stand down."

"Well is she going to help us?" asked Hook, looking at Tinkerbell peculiarly.

Tinkerbell smirked at Hook.

"Well look who the queen dragged in," she said. "Hello, Hook."

"Hey Tinkerbell," he replied, in his customary flirtatious manner.

"She's not going to help us," continued Regina

"Why not?" asked Emma

"Tink, after all we've been through together, a little assistance?" asked Hook, in a pleading voice.

"She doesn't have any magic" explained Regina.

"No pixie dust?" It was David who spoke.

Regina shook her head and whispered, "Not even her wings." As she spoke, she felt guilt rising up in her heart. For a moment, she missed the continuous conversation, yet somehow, Snow had convinced Tinkerbell to help them, and so that night the green fairy joined them around the campfire. Regina sat alone under a tree. Hook had gone back to Emma. He was like a spring who bounced between her and the saviour. What he saw in Emma, Regina did not know. Out of the blue, Tinkerbell came and sat beside her and they both leant against the trunk of a tree, letting the nightly wind caress their faces.

"Did you ever go back and find him?" asked Tinkerbell softly. "The man with the lion tattoo."

"No." It was the truth.

"Unreal." Regina heard the disbelief and disgust in the fairy's voice. "Do you know how selfish that is?

"How is it selfish?"

"Because you didn't just ruin your life, you ruined his." Regina didn't what to hear any more bad news so she changed the topic. Besides she didn't care about who the man with the tattoo was. Hook was the man she wanted now.

"You were the first friend I ever had," she whispered, "back in the Enchanted Forest."

"We're not friends anymore," snapped Tinkerbell."

"I know." Regina could not bring herself to look into Tink's eyes. "I never thought you were a terrible fairy. You were the best fairy I knew."

"You mustn't know very many fairies then," said Tink, staring out into the forest.

Regina ignored her. "I know you need people to believe in you, so I just want to know that I believe in you."

"Why?" asked Tinkerbell. "Because you feel obligated to make amends to me?"

"Yes, and also because I know you have a good heart."

"Did you ever fall in love again, Regina?" asked Tinkerbell. Regina looked across at the camp, where Hook was sitting next to Emma.

"No," she whispered.

"That's sad," said Tinkerbell. "It seems like neither of us got a happy ending."

"I was once told that villains don't deserve happy endings."

_Hi guys! This chapter is based on episode 3. All dialogue and characters are of course OUAT. I didn't mind the episode even though my Hook/Queen dreams are crushed. _


	15. Chapter 15

Regina and Tink stayed up all night, talking, as the others slept. Tink was angry with her, Regina knew that but through the fairy's temperamental façade, she heard forgiveness in Tink's voice. It sounded like hope.

"So you never loved anyone else at all?" Tink pestered, for what felt like the billionth time.

"Beside Daniel and Henry, no."

"What about him?" Tinkerbell pointed to David. He was lying apart from Snow White, which was a usual sight, and his own arm was wrapped tightly around his stomach.

"No," groaned Regina in disgust. "Beside he's married to Snow White."

"What about Hook?" asked Tink. "He's dark, handsome and brooding. Your style completely."

"I-I," Regina faltered.

Tinkerbell raised an eyebrow. "So you do like Hook? The Queen loves the Captain, hey?"

"I don't," hissed Regina, keeping her voice low. "I don't love him, I don't even like him. He's an egotistical, untrustworthy, flirtatious pirate, whose head is nearly as swollen as Pan's."

"But you could like him?" continued Tink. "Be honest Regina, I can see the way you look at him. I may have lost my wings but I still have my instinct."

"I-I, yeah, I could," said Regina. "But you said the man with the lion tattoo was my soul mate."

"Yes, but is he your only soul mate? I believe there are many plausible soul mates for humans, and I only used my magic to find the closest one around at that time." Tink stared at Regina enthusiastically. "Here's the thing Regina, with love there are the ones who are wrong for us and the ones who are right for us. The man with the lion tattoo was right for you, just as Daniel was. But there are always the ones we just choose. If you choose Hook and he chooses you, then there is still a great possibility for true love."

"You really think so?"

"I know so," said Tink, nodding. "But you gotta do something really important."

"What?" asked Regina.

"This time you have to go through the door and give love a chance."

Regina swallowed but Tinkerbell continued talking.

"You gotta hand him your heart, just the way you handed it to me."

"I-I…I dunno…it's just that I'm not very good at loving…and if Hook did love me...I would feel like I didn't deserve his love. After all the horrible things I've done to people, to you…I don't deserve to be happy."

"That's nonsense Regina, and if you wanted to make amends to me, there is one thing you could do."

"I can't bring your wings back," said Regina sadly.

"I know," said Tink, "but could you do something else for me?"

"Anything," whispered Regina.

"Would you give your feelings for Hook a chance? Would you try to find your happy ending, for me?"

Regina felt a hot tear sliding down her cheek. "Why are you so good, Tink?" she murmured.

"There always has to be a shimmer of light in this dark forest…and I do try my best to still be a fairy. So will you do that, Regina? Will you let love in?"

"I'll try."

"That's all I'm asking."

They were silent for a moment and then Regina asked – "Are you going to help me find my son, Tink?"

"Yes," she said.

"Why?"

"Because Henry makes you happy and all I ever wanted was for you to be happy."

_A/N This chapter was inspired by information PoinsonAppleTurnover sent me, telling me that Eddy said – "There are the ones who are wrong for us, the ones who are right, and the ones we just choose." So there is still hope for Hook/Queen. Thank you so much to PoisonAppleTurnover and everyone else who is reviewing xxx_


	16. Chapter 16

The next morning, Hook and Regina walked together, behind the rest of the group

"So…" said Regina, nervously, still thinking about the promise she made to Tinkerbell; that she'd give her love for Hook a shot. Regina wished she could stir up a love potion. It would certainly be much easier than thinking of awkward pickup lines.

"So?" said Hook.

"So…" began Regina again. "You know Tinkerbell, uh?"

"Evidently love," drawled Hook. "She's a beautiful soul, her and me shared quite some time together. I must say I really am a magnet for beautiful women."

Regina rolled her eyes. "You're one conceited pirate."

Hook raised his eyebrow. They were walking slower, tearing away from the group. "Am I to understand…that you find me arrogant?"

Before Regina could reply, there was a loud rustle in the bushes nearby. Hook drew his sword and they both turned and looked in the direction of the group. The others had continued walking, unaware of the sound of an intruder. A boy appeared from the bushes.

"Pan," hissed Hook into Regina's ear.

"Well, well look who we have here; Neverland's own barbaric pirate and the Queen of the enchanted forest." Peter Pan bowed lowly, and Regina could tell he was mocking her. She reached inside herself for some magic, but Hook grabbed her hand.

"Don't," he whispered. "You cannot defeat him with your magic alone."

"Wise words Captain," said Pan loudly, as he leant against a tree and surveyed them.

"What do you want Pan?" said Hook.

"I just wanted to meet Regina," said Pan in a lazy voice. "I met Henry's biological mother, Emma; she's quite a feisty one…so I wanted to meet his adoptive mother." He leaped forward, so he stood directly in front of her, holding out his hand.

"I'm Peter Pan," he said with a boyish grin. "It's nice to meet you, your majesty." Regina smiled wickedly. She was going to crush his hand into dust. She shook his hand and began to squeeze it. Suddenly she was engulfed in pain and all these memories flooded through her mind. She saw Daniel, lying stone cold in the stable; her mother lying in a her arms; 'this would have been enough...you would have been enough,' Henry running into Emma's arm, herself crying into her pillow after the curse broke, Hook flirting with Emma…her father's sincere smile…happiness was frequently stolen in her life, and she watched it take root and fester the lives of others; Snow White and Charming's wedding, Rumplestiltskin finding love with Belle…it was endless and she wanted to scream heavenwards for one touch of happiness. Happiness was a scream deep within herself, a silent never-to-be answered prayer.

Regina drew in breaths fast, very fast. What was happening to her? She was seeing things. Her mind was imagining horrible thoughts and was going crazy with pain. Death would be a release, a dream in which she could touch and see all those she had lost and loved. She was not afraid to die. There would be fools to take up her queenship and take her mayor's office in Storybrooke as her dark soul descended.

It felt like Greg was torturing her again, only ten times worse. This torture cut deep into her mind. Her eyes flickered open and she saw Pan leering over her.

"Neverland is about accepting who you are," said Pan. "Tell me who you are Regina and the pain will stop." Regina tried to form words but all that left her mouth was an ear-piercing scream. Suddenly she heard a clash of metal and through her flickering eyelids she saw Hook pinning Pan to the tree with his Hook while his other hand held a blade to the boy's throat.

Through the pain, Regina heard Hook's voice loud and clear.

"She is the queen."

She is the queen.

She is the queen.

I am the queen.

The words echoed and rattled in her brain. They were so familiar but so emotionally empty.

I am a queen, who's lost everything she's ever loved; a queen that constantly searches for a happy ending, a queen that is broken, depressed and lonely. A queen who does not feel like a queen.

The pain was dimming and she heard a swish noise and saw Peter Pan leaping up a tree.

"Regina!" said Hook, coming down beside her. "He's gone, are you alright?"

"Hook," she whispered, clutching his jacket, needing to know that he was real and she was not still imagining stuff. "What happened to me?"

"Pan exploits all your worse memories, all you're worries and uses them to drive you insane," explained Hook. Regina got to her feet, trembling.

"I'm okay," she whispered to herself more than Hook. "We should catch up with the others and tell them what happened."

Hook agreed and they set off into the forest, Hook's good arm hovering near her as though he was afraid she'd fall.

"So who are you exactly?" asked Hook as he helped her over a fallen log.

"That's a courageous question to ask captain."

"Well give me a courageous answer."

Regina stared at him; debating whether to him she was the girl who had lost everything she has ever loved.

"You said it yourself; I am the queen." Regina walked ahead and heard Hook mutter under his breath – "first Emma and now you; why are women so secretive?"


	17. Chapter 17

The next day, they searched the jungle for Baelfire's cave. Regina thought it was an utter waste of time. Shouldn't they be searching for Henry first? Hook was walking beside her.

"Have you told the others about your encounter with Pan, love?"

"No," said Regina. "I decided against it. Everyone has enough on their plates already." Regina glanced at Hook.

"They deserve to know and besides, it best to acknowledge who you truly are."

"I know who I am," hissed Regina. "And don't you dare bring it up again."

"Oh, because it scares you that you're a lost girl too? A woman's who loss love so many times that it's probably out numbers the stars –"

"How dare you," snapped Regina, pulling Hook by the shirt and away from the rest of the group. "How dare you imply that you know me…"

"Well, I do know you love," shrugged Hook. "I've spent months abroad a ship with you and am now trekking through a jungle with you. You think I haven't seen your magic and your heart?" Hook asked sarcastically. "Because I have Regina. I've seen your magic and the demons you have…I've seen those burdens you carry and I may not know an awful lot about your past, but I've seen your pain, when you sit alone at night, when everyone else is around the campfire. Even though we hardly spent any time together in any world, I feel like I know you. Know you well enough to know that you are just as lost as everyone else on this damn island."

Regina rounded on him; her temper irate. "You are out of line, pirate!"

"No, you are out of line, Regina," said Hook. "Have you any idea what I have sacrificed to get you all to Neverland?"

"You lied to me," yelled Regina, her eyes watering. Hook expression was as though she had slapped him.

"What?" he murmured.

"You said you knew Neverland like the back of your bloody Hook…but you don't, you can't even find Baelfire's cave, let alone get us into Pan's camp. You know nothing. You are useless."

Hook raised an eyebrow and said sarcastically, "Compared to you?" He snorted and almost laughed. "You are the one that knows nothing about Neverland. It runs on imagination."

Regina glared at him unblinkingly before throwing back her head and letting out a wild, savage laugh. A laugh that frightened him and even frightened herself. This was the first time she had felt like the evil queen in a long time.

"And what do you know about imagination?" said Regina. "You steer ships and stalk girls. You know nothing about imagination."

"I know that imagination without belief is pointless," said Hook drily. "The two are entwined like friendship and loyalty."

"But what is friendship without trust?"

"You don't trust me?" asked Hook, placing a hand over his heart as though he was mockingly offended. "I am trying to help, Henry."

"Why?" snarled Regina. "What does Henry mean to you? Is he just your way of winning over Miss Swan?"

Hook moved so fast and backed her against the nearest tree, his hook pinning her blouse to the bark.

"Bloody hell woman," he hissed. "It has nothing to do with Emma or you. It had to do with my friggin empathy, that I know you think doesn't exist. But here's the thing, _your majesty_, I've been a lost boy for a long time and there is nothing worse. It's like your trapped in an infinite, dark maze and no matter which way you turn you're always lost. I spent a thousand nights abroad my vessel, hearing the lost boys cry for their mothers and so now I've made it my damn mission to get Baelfire's kid back to his mother."

"Which one?"

"What?"

"Which mother?"

"Both of them."

Without a word, Hook turned and walked away.

That night, Regina slept outside, refusing to reside in the camp she shared with Hook. Neverland's winds were cold but she didn't care. She had just closed her eyes, when she heard footsteps and a voice.

"Regina, love?"

Regina ignored him, squeezing her eyes tighter, pretending to be asleep. She felt him kneel down beside her, before lying next to her.

"I know you're awake," he whispered. He was so close that Regina could feel the warmth of his breath against her neck. Damn it! She turned around in his arms. He was close to her. She could feel his breath, warm and soft, and his familiar smell of the sea. She reached out to touch his face but then remembered that they were fighting. "Hook, I didn't mean those things I said." Her voice was a whisper.

"I know," replied Hook. Regina was relieved to find that his voice was gentle. "I didn't mean what I said either."

"I don't want to fight with you anymore."

"Then don't," said Hook. "My white flag is up."

"Yeah me too," murmured Regina. "My white flag has been up for an awfully long time; the day you let Greg torture me. Sometimes you have no choice to surrender to pain."

"Mmm," said Hook. "And sometimes you have a choice to surrender to love."

She looked him in the eye. His gaze was piercing and sent warm shivers through her body.

"Isn't that what I'm doing?"

"You tell me," replied Hook. "What's love without trust?"

Regina reached forward instinctively to brush a few stray curls from his forehead, running her fingers along his tired face.

"Nothing."

**A/N: So although 'Nasty Habits,' was an okay episode, I am angry that Regina is being seriously marginalised in season 3 (well that's what I think anyway). Taking all my angst out in this chapter. Hope you guys like it xxx**


	18. Chapter 18

Regina closed her eyes. He was still spooning her, his warm breath tickling her neck. She could feel his metal hook gliding down her arms, her neck and towards the valley of her breasts. Her breath hitched and the first image that came to her mind was being strapped to a scientific looking table, and Hook towering over her, feeling her up while she laid there helpless, waiting for Greg to come and torture her.

"What are you doing Captain?" whispered Regina, her voice hovering between fear, anticipation and some warm indescribable emotion.

"What does it look like I'm doing?" With his one strong arm, he flipped her over, so he was leaning over her, his sharp gaze piercing her like arrows. He trailed his hook down her collarbone and towards her breasts.

"This looks familiar," said Regina in a sultry voice. "Don't you remember captain? You couldn't help yourself when I was chained to Greg's torture table." Regina thought, for a moment, that she saw a touch of pain and regret cross his face. "Tell me Hook…when you fuck your women, do you like them to be submissive or feisty?"

He raised an eyebrow. "I thought a villain was never submissive?"

Regina smirked and he lowered his head, so he was trailing kisses down her jaw, whilst his good hand wove itself in her hair.

Regina sighed, relishing in the feel on his soft lips against her skin. _It had been long. Far too long. _

"You remember how Greg said, villains don't deserve happy endings…well, I've been thinking about that…and do you ever wonder how the fairy tales end? From what I've heard from the world beyond Storybrooke a happy ending always involves the villain dying…"

Hook stilled his lips and looked up at her.

"Greg's statement really bothers you doesn't it?"

"Yes," said Regina, trailing a finger across his jaw and feeling the scratchiness of his stubble. "Doesn't it bother you?"

"No," said Hook. "There's no shame in being who you are."

Regina bit her lip and closed her eyes, until she felt Hook's breath against her ear. "By the way…" he murmured, in a voice so soft, she hardly heard it. "You're killing the romantic atmosphere, love."

"What romantic atmosphere?" asked Regina. "There is no romantic atmosphere with Miss Swan, Snow and the Prince nearby." Hook groaned and fell down beside her. "But…" continued Regina. "I know a reclusive place nearby…you can fuck me there tomorrow."

"Where?"

"A lake full of good magic." Regina rested her head against his chest.

"For the record Regina," said Hook softly. "I don't fuck, I make love."

Regina laughed. "We'll see."

"Yes," said Hook, "we will see. Sweet dreams your majesty." Regina closed her eyes and snuggled closer to his warm and solid body.

"You too."

For the first time, Regina did not dream of Henry, Pan or Greg. Instead she dreamt of Hook.


	19. Chapter 19

Regina felt like she was falling into a reoccurring nightmare as she watched Emma and Hook make-out in the forest. She remained invisible but couldn't draw her eyes away from the sight of Emma grasping the collar of Hook's leather jacket and the way Hook combed his good hand through her blonde tresses.

Regina felt like someone had piled a tonne of bricks on her chest, and she swore she could feel her heart-breaking that little bit more.

A single tear slipped from her eye and she bit her lip to keep the approaching sobs at bay. Shaking her head, Regina walked away; trying to clear their wet kissing sounds from her mind, but it refused to fade away and continued to ring in her ears. She reversed the invisibility spell. Her trembling legs walked as though they had a mind of their own, carrying her through the forest and towards a reclusive lake. The lake she had told Hook about. The lake where she had wanted Hook to fuck her.

_Screw that now_, she thought as she shredded her garments. She didn't need him. She was fine by herself. She had always been alone. Now, in Neverland, it was no different. Deciding it had been so long since she had a bath, Regina tossed her blue jacket to the forest floor, followed by her blouse, her slacks and then, finally, her under garments.

Without a backwards glance, she dove into the lake. The water was cool and sent nice shivers through her body. Absently, she floated; relishing in the feel of the soft waves caressing the sensitive skin on her neck. She sighed and used her arms to swim backwards.

Above her, the twilight sky was a murky grey.

"Black lingerie, love?" shouted a familiar voice. "How typical." Instantly, Regina ducked into the water, hiding her nudity, so all that remained was her head bobbling above the surface. Captain Hook was standing on the shore. Dangling from his metal hook was her black laced bra that she had left discarded on the sands.

"Go away!" yelled Regina.

"I thought you wanted me here," said Hook, tossing her bra back onto the ground. "You did invite me, after all."

"I don't want you anymore." _Liar_, her conscious said. _You still want him._

Hook raised an eyebrow as though he could hear her inner thoughts. All of a sudden, he shrugged off his leather jacket, and then pulled his tunic over his head before fumbling with the buttons of his pants.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" yelled Regina, from where she was treading water in the middle of the lake. She couldn't take her eyes off him as his clothes joined hers on the shore.

"Going for a swim," quipped Hook as he pulled off his boots.

"Oh, no you're not," said Regina. "Go find another lake. This one's taken." She watched Hook walk stark naked to the waters edged, admiring his body; his rigid stomach muscles and the sharp contours of athleticism. Hook paused when his feet reached the water, and surveyed the lake critically, his eyes roaming over Regina. For once, she felt truly and undeniably vulnerable.

"No," he said simply. "I think I like this lake." His eyes met hers. "Yes, I think I like this lake _very_ much." And with that he dove into the waters and began swimming towards her.

"Bastard," Regina muttered as she watched his dark shadow glide beneath the water's surface. As soon as he rose up, he grinned at her flirtatiously. Without thinking about it, Regina slapped him hard across the cheek. The blow left her hand stinging.

Hook's head snapped back and he raised his good hand to his now red cheek.

"What the hell was that for?" he asked, bewildered, treading water opposite her.

"I saw you kiss, Emma," said Regina, her voice full of accusation.

"Correction – Emma kissed me."

"I don't care; the point is you kissed her back."

"Mmm," said Hook, his eyes gleamed. "Aye, I did; it's hard to resist when a girl throws herself at you."

Regina slapped him on the other cheek and this time, Hook merely smiled.

"And what was that one for?"

"That was for every girl, who had their heart ripped out by your seductive and manipulative charms," Regina hissed.

Hook laughed. "That's funny, coming from the girl whose mother was the Queen of Hearts."

Regina made a move to slap him again but this time Hook was too fast, he grabbed her wrist with his good hand and used it to drag her through the water towards him, so they were so close, their noses nearly touching. And then suddenly, his lips were one hers, hot and demanding and she kissed back just as ferociously. Regina groaned and parted her mouth, giving him access. For a moment, they played a game of kissing domination, both grasping at each other passionately. Lowering his head, Hook, brought his lips to ear – his scruffy jaw brushed against the tender skin of cheek.

"The kiss with Emma," he whispered, his breath tickling her skin, "was a once off thing."

"Yeah?" said Regina cynically, raking her sharp nails done his arms, feeling his firm biceps. Hook groaned, whether from pain of pleasure, she couldn't tell. "And what are we?" she whispered back. "Is this a once off thing, too?"

"Oh, God, no," said Hook, combing his hook gently through her wet, thick hair. "I want this to be as frequent as possible but –"

"But with no strings attached," Regina finished for him.

Hook smiled at her. "You read my mind. Regina, I –"

"Just shut up and fuck me," said Regina, cutting him off, and bringing her lips to his again, more aggressive this time. Snaking her hand beneath the water, Regina reached down and caressed his hard length.

Hook groaned into her neck, trailing light kisses down her collarbone, while his good hand fondled her breasts; pinching, stroking and squeezing.

Regina's breath hitched as she guided him to her entrance.

"Regina…wait, I-I wanted to take my time with you…I don't want this to be a quick fuck in a lake."

She silenced him with another quick kiss. "You can take your time with me later, but I've waited so damn long for this, and if you don't hurry up and take me now, I'm going to – oh!"

He thrust into her sharply and Regina shut her eyes, feeling his length fill her. She was tight, and the feeling was exquisite. She wrapped her legs around his waist as he pulled out fully and drove back in. Her nails tightened around his shoulders, leaving red marks as he took her roughly, almost violently; just the way she had longed…

Her breaths came in pants now. She was so close, so close, so close…

She screamed a silent scream into his neck, muffling her cries, just as he came a few moments later.

In the aftermath, the Queen and the pirate clung to each other, holding ach other gently and staring into each other's eyes; the cold water chilling their bones, but not touching their warm, beating hearts.

**A/N: Okay guys, here it is – a sex scene. I've never really written one before, so I'm a little bit nervous. Hope you guys like it? Any reviews? There will be another more lovely-dovey sex scene in the next chapter. Once again, thank you for your wonderful reviews, they do mean a lot to me. Lots of love CD xxxxxx**


	20. Chapter 20

Regina didn't remember how she ended up flat on her back on the soft sand. He must have carried her because she certainly doubted her trembling legs would have had the strength to pull her sated body out of the water and onto the banks. Hook was leaning over her, his green eyes gleaming and a smirk plastered upon his wet face.

"May I take my time with you now, your majesty?" His good hand was caressing her bare hips. His touch was as light as a feather and sent shivers to places Regina never knew existed.

"If it pleases you," she murmured, closing her eyes. Suddenly, she felt his warm lips on hers, gentle and soft. It was so different from the last time; too tender and kind. His kisses felt like they actually meant something and she hated that.

His kisses were lies.

She needed angry and passionate sex, not gentle caresses and soft spoken words. She needed rage, fight and passion. She couldn't imagine what she'd be like if she stopped feeling that way.

Hook trailed soft, tentative kisses across her eyebrows, down the bridge of her nose, fleeting across the rim of an ear, down her jaw bone and towards her neck.

Without warning, Regina flipped them over, so she was straddling him. Abruptly, she kissed him hard, almost brutally, feeling that she was bruising her own lips in the process. She felt Hook suck in his breath as though he was being consumed by a wraith.

Her nails were raking down the plains of his chest, when he rolled them over again, towering over her and pinning both hands above her hand, with the power of his one, good hand.

"You said I could take my time with you," Hook whispered; his hot breath filtering across her neck. "And if you keep heading that way, this will end as quickly as the other one did."

"I can't do this, like this…" she said thickly. "I, I –"

"You need to be in control?" Hook finished for her, not releasing her straining hands.

"Yes," she breathed back. His face was so close to hers. Their noses were almost touching.

"Why?" he asked.

"Because it's scares me, if I'm not," said Regina, surprised at how honest she was being. Her honesty and self-realisation was scaring her as well.

Hook smiled and kissed her gently again._ Gentle. Dammit. Dammit_. She hated gentle. It scared her.

"Love, please just let me be in control this once," said Hook. "I promise you won't be disappointed."

Regina stared at him critically. Too overwhelmed to speak, she just nodded.

_What have I gotten myself into?_ She thought as Hook kissed her again, again and again.

_Too late._

_She couldn't run away._

_Stay. _

_Feel the moment._ The frighteningly gentle moment.

"You're beautiful." Hook's voice awoke her from her reverie. He was gazing at her naked body as though it was a work of art. "Has anyone ever told you that?"

_Yes_, she thought. _Daniel_. She didn't reply to him, but just tangled her fingers through his hair as he kissed her.

Regina's eyes opened with surprise as he reached down for her hands, opened her palms and kissed each one lightly. He moved his hands up her bare arms, and then resumed kissing her neck with an open mouth. Regina was tense, with anticipation as well as fear, waiting to see what he would no next. He moved closer and cupped one breast. Regina's breath hitched. She felt like a virgin all over again. Although she was still afraid, she began to feel her body respond to his touches.

Hook tilted her head back, kissing her neck, flicked his tongue across her throat and then backed off, holding her shoulders and smiled.

Regina's eyes were closed, but her mouth open and she was breathing faster. He ran his tongue down her neck and chest, circled her nipple and then sucked gently. Regina gasped but didn't pull away.

Regina opened her eyes and looked at him from the sand. His eyes were luminous green and so compelling that she couldn't look away. He bent over and kissed her again and Regina opened her mouth eagerly, tasting the rum on his lips. It was the most erotic thing she had ever tasted.

Hook caressed her bare torso, with both hook and hand, before exploring lower, trailing a path south with the lightest of touches. Regina felt his good hand on the inside of her thighs and tensed, before parting her legs slightly.

At that instant, he moved his hand to the warm slit between her thighs and found the small nodule that was her centre of pleasure. She bucked her hips but didn't emit a sound.

"Oh god, you're so wet," groaned Hook. Regina's head rocked back and forth and her hands reached up to grab his shoulders. Hook began to rub her with his fingers in different ways, watching her face. When her eyes flickered and she caught her tongue between her teeth and her body convulsed, he repeated his motions. Regina let out a whimper. She wanted to scream but she didn't want to give him the satisfaction of how much he affected her. His ego was infatuated enough already.

"Tell me how much you like this, Regina?" whispered Hook, nipping at her breasts again, whilst he continued his motions with his fingers. Oh, she liked it so much but she wouldn't give him the glory of knowing that. Regina bit her lip, hard; muffling all the sensual moans that were bubbling on her tongue. He rubbed her harder. She was close, so close…

"Hook –" she began in a broken voice.

"Killian," he corrected, gazing at her with serious eyes. One finger entered her and she gasped. "Say my name Regina. Please just say it."

"No," she whispered; as she felt him remove his fingers and replace it was his erect manhood. "I can't, because if –oh."

He penetrated her slowly and gently, like a kind lover. He fucked her the way she feared, moving in, out, in and out at a constant rhythm. For a moment Regina's world stopped and then she remembered what she was saying and tried to make her words coherent. "I can't because if I say it…it's too intimate, it's like this means something and it doesn't…"

She bit her lip again, drowning her moans as her climax approached. Hook's slow thrusts hit her at a perfect angle, causing waves of pleasure to rack over her already trembling body.

"Come for me, love," whispered Hook, as he pounded into her, harder, faster, just the way she loved. She arched her back, bucked her hips and for once, they came together, both of their bodies, tensing, and then trembling as they both came down from their high.

Hook rolled off her and rested by her side; together they watched the clouds move above them like white-flying ships.

"I hate you," whispered Regina, thinking of the way he had kissed Emma and the infuriating way he knew her own body better than she did.

"I know."

She didn't look at him but could imagine the debauched smirk that was lingering on his lips.


	21. Chapter 21

They sat on the sandy banks, fully dressed again, watching the dusk fade to night.

"Why'd you do it?" asked Regina, turning her head and looking at Hook. "Why'd you save the prince's life?"

Hook swallowed thickly but didn't meet her gaze. He stared at the lake as the waters turned darker as the sun disappeared behind the trees.

"Because it was the right thing to do," said Hook hoarsely.

Regina blinked. "When do you care about doing the right thing? You're a pirate – you plunder, pillage and steal – when do you care about morality?"

Hook smiled slightly. "I wasn't always a pirate you know, just as you weren't always a Queen."

Regina returned his smile. "Enlighten me Captain," she said. "Who were you before you became the barbaric Captain of the Jolly Roger? A farm boy just like David?"

Hook laughed throatily. "A Lieutenant actually," he corrected, watching the surprised look on Regina's face. "For the ship the Jewel of the Realm."

For a moment, Regina was speechless. She didn't know what she had expected but never in her life, did she consider that Hook might have had a noble and professional ambition.

"So how the hell become a pirate then?"

"That's a long story, love."

"We have time."

Hook smiled tightly and Regina thought he was going to ignore her inquiries, but he surprised her again by recounting of his tales in Neverland.

"I had a brother once," he began. "Liam was his name. Liam was the Captain of the Jewel of the realm and he had orders to set sail to a new land to find a magical plant that could cure any illness–"

Regina cut him off. "What land did you go to?"

"Neverland," Hook replied calmly. "We arrived on Neverland's shores and it was there that we met a boy; a boy named Peter Pan."

Regina held her breath. She could tell this story was not going to end could. Anything with Pan in it was bound to be a dark tale.

"Pan told us that the plant we were searching for was in fact a poison called Dream Shade, but Liam didn't believe him, so he cut himself with the thorn of the plant just to reassure me that the plant was no poison…how wrong he was…he nearly died…until Pan led me to a fountain of magical water that could cure any illness…and it did…but Pan failed to tell me one important detail – that anyone who drank from the fountain could never leave the island alive…"

Regina's mind whirled, spun and then it hit her –

"David…" she whispered.

"Yes," said Hook sadly. "David said an eternal life in Neverland was a small price to pay for Henry's safety."

Regina's eyes began to sting. Life was a bitch.

"You're brother," began Regina, again. "He died."

"Yes," replied Hook with a nod. "At first I was angry with Pan but then I was angrier at my King. After I left Neverland I vowed to never serve another monarch again."

Regina flinched but Hook continued talking. "I became a free man, stole the Jewels of the Realm and it became the Jolly Rodger. And that's how I became a pirate."

"You chose freedom over sovereignty? You chose to spend your life on a ship –"

"Yes," said Hook, slightly angry. "That ship is not just a keel and a hull and sails; that's what a ship needs, not what a ship is. What the Jolly Rodger really is, is freedom."

_Freedom_. Regina had longed for that all her life under Cora's tutelage.

_Freedom._

**A/N: Thanks everyone for their overwhelming support and comments. I've been having a blast writing this, and there are more chapter to come. I have lots of writing to do next month because I'm also doing Nanowrimo. Do any of you guys participate in Nanowrimo? I'm going to have the most amazing month writing but I will definitely continue this as well.**

**Anyway, all characters are of course Onces, and the end quote about the ship is referenced from the 'Pirates of the Caribbean.' Hope you like it. Lots of love. CD xxx**


	22. Chapter 22

That's it – she had made up her mind. It was final. Unchangeable. She was going to find Rumplestiltskin. Her patience with the Charmings had gotten her nowhere. They seemed more focused on finding out whether Emma's old lost love Neal was still alive rather than saving Henry. She should have done what Gold did weeks ago.

Regina told Emma and Snow about her decision and was now walking away from the camp towards the unknowingness of the Neverlandish forest.

"Leaving without a goodbye?" Regina turned at the sound of his voice. Hook was balancing precariously on a fallen log.

"Yes," she said with a small smile. "Because goodbyes are too hard to say."

"Regina," began Hook, not moving from the log. "Please just stay; we'll go get Henry after we see if Baelfire's still alive."

"And what happens if we're too late. Time is a tricky thing in Neverland. We've been here for weeks and we've gotten nowhere. I'm going to get my son back – I _need _Henry."

"And what about me, love?" said Hook with a debauched smirk. "Do you need me?"

"No," she replied, her voice steady. "I want you, but I don't _need_ you."

Hook tried to act nonchalant but Regina still saw him flinch.

"Come with me," said Regina. "Leave the Charmings and their futile plans…come with me instead."

Hook looked away, not meeting her gaze. "I wish I could but I can't."

"Why not?"

Hook swallowed the rising lump in his throat. "Because I _need_ to find out if Baelfire's alive. He was like a son to me."

"I understand," mumbled Regina. "We're both looking for our sons."

Hook laughed softly. "He's not really my son."

"Either is Henry," said Regina. "He's the child of my heart, not of my body, just like Baelfire is to you."

"I guess so."

There was an awkward pause. The only sound that could be heard was the soft susurration of the leaves.

"Well…good luck on finding Baelfire," said Regina, turning away.

"Don't I get a farewell kiss?"

Regina froze in her tracks. Her mind was battling, whirling and spinning. She shouldn't…but oh God she wanted to kiss him. Regina turned around and walked over to him. Standing on the log, he towered over her.

"You're going to have to lean down," she murmured.

Smiling sadly, Hook trailed a soft finger across her cheek, cupping her face tenderly. Slowly, he leant down and kissed her. It was the softest and sweetest kiss Regina had ever tasted. Regina closed her eyes; feeling as though he was putting a thousand apologies, farewells and love into that one gentle kiss.

She never wanted it to end. Yet all too soon, he pulled away and for a moment they stared into each other's eyes, foreheads resting on one another's.

"Goodb –" started Regina.

Hook pressed a finger to her lips.

"Ssssh," he said. "Never say goodbye, because goodbye means going away, and going away means forgetting."

Regina nodded in understanding. With great difficulty she pulled herself away from his embrace. Oh God, it was hard. So hard.

"Good luck, love," said Hook, watching her take backwards steps.

"You too," she said, turning away. _Don't look back_, she told herself as she walked away. _If you look back, you will run straight back into his arms – don't look back. _

Regina walked away with the dim realisation that she was abandoning love again, and the only internal apologies she had were not for Hook or herself, but for that persistent fairy in the green dress.

Regina used her magic to track Rumplestiltskin. It led her to a clearing in the forest. From where she stood between the trees, she could see him sitting on a log, next to…Belle. Well, it certainly looked like Belle, but Regina knew it wasn't. Belle was in Storybrooke and her internal instincts told her that the doppelgänger of Belle was a piece of nasty magic. Surely, Rumplestiltskin realised that? It didn't look like he did. He was letting the doppelgänger stroke his cheek and whisper words of nonsense to him. What the hell? What the _actually_ hell?

Without thinking about, Regina flicked of her wrist, crushing the windpipe of the demon-Belle. She made Belle crushed her airway with her own bonny hand. Regina marched into the clearing.

"Enough of this," she said.

Rumplestiltskin leapt to his feet. "Regina –"

"Are you really going to fall for this?" asked Regina. She couldn't believe it – what had happened to Rumplestilkin; the dark one…the imp who had mercilessly taught her to crush hearts…the man that had shrouded her in darkness; now he looked lost and vulnerable…and…broken.

Bell's doppelgänger was gasping for breaths, begging – it was pathetic really.

"What are you doing?" cried Rumplestilkin.

"Showing you the truth," hissed Regina.

"No," murmured Rumplestilkin as he ran over to Belle. Regina wrenched him back, restraining him. She expected more of a fight, but he was so weak…and for once, it frightened her. Yes, she had always wanted to be more powerful than him, but not now.

Belle collapsed to the ground.

"Look who you're really dealing with," said Regina just as Belle burst into dust and a dark shadow emerged from her faded body.

"Pan," whispered Rumplestiltskin, mortified.

"What is this?" snapped Regina, throwing her belongings on the campsite he had made. "Amateur hour? Did you really believe that was Belle?"

"Why are you here?" asked Rumplestiltskin. She heard the anger in his voice, which made her angrier in return.

"For starters it appears I'm saving your arse. You were about to be Pan's lunch."

"And why do you care?" asked Rumplestilkin, walking away.

Regina's mind was doing backflips – what had happened to him? Why was he so …defeated?

"I care because I've been camping with the Charmings for a week and getting nowhere. If we're going to get Henry, I_ need _you. I _need_ Rumplestiltskin."

"Well the problem dearie is that Rumplestilkin can only stop Pan by dying."

"You're not going to die at anyone's hands but my own."

Rumplestilkin averted his gaze and Regina continued. "We're the two most powerful practioners of magic that have ever lived. The Evil Queen and the Dark One joining forces…I thing we can find another way to handle one smug teenager."

"You've never faced him…and I have…and I know what killing him requires and that is my life." Rumplestilkin was so angry and broken that Regina though he looked partially insane. Regina stared at him. She knew he was right and clearly Gold knew Pan. She thought of all the enemies she had faced. Snow White's face came to her mind and then the image of a poison apple – she had an idea.

"As much as I want to," said Regina. "Maybe we don't have to kill him…maybe we can find another way…something to contain him…some other fate."

"A fate worse than death?"

Regina smiled. "Now, we're talking. There is my malevolent imp."

They argued for a bit longer about spells and what they could do. It turned out that Rumplestilkin had something back in his pawnshop in Storybrooke, so now they needed a change of plans…a way to transcend between realms. There was only one specie that could bounce between realms at their will…mermaids…and Regina knew of one passionate, red-haired mermaid in particular. After explaining her plan to Rumplestiltskin, she led him to a nearby lake and picked up a shell from the shore.

Rumplestiltskin looked at her peculiarly.

"If you think summoning a giant squid is the answer," said Rumplestiltskin, "I've already tried that."

Regina raised her eyebrow, cradling the shell between her hands. "You've had fun haven't you? I have no intention of ordering calamari."

Regina blew into the shell gently; a soft melody floated across the sea. She watched the surface, waiting for Ariel's arrival.

As she waited she thought about Hook and his search for Baelfire.

Hook made her feel vulnerable but now she was back where she belonged, by the side of the Dark One, and their power seeped through the air, like toxic acid, bred from anger and determination.

_A/N: Disclaimer – there was an obvious Peter Pan quote in this chapter, stated by Hook and all characters, are of course, Oncers. Hope you enjoyed it. _


	23. Chapter 23

Hook wanted to follow her. He really did. He wanted to follow her to the end of the world and back, but he just couldn't. Young Bae's face kept haunting his mind, plaguing his dreams, both day and night. It was melancholic and it was hope - Baelfire could still be alive. Without Regina, Hook felt lost sitting at the campfire with the Charmings. Sure, occasionally he'd flirt with Emma just for the sake of it, but tonight, he felt numb. Indifferent. Lost.

"Hook?" A tentative woman's voice awoke him from his reverie. "Are you alright?" Snow White sat next to him. Out of all the people he'd been travelling with the last few days, he had spent the least amount of time with the legendary banished princess.

"Yes. Yes. I'm fine."

She raised a slender eyebrow. "It's Regina, isn't it?" She looked at him quizzically. "I know you guys have been spending quite a lot of time together." She spoke with an aristocratic accent and an air of authority. There was a sense of affluence about her and the rapport of an entitled princess.

The corners of Hook's mouth twitched into a slight smirk. "You're quite perspective, aren't you love?"

Snow shrugged. "More or less."

Hook looked at the trees that circled the campsite, engulfing them in shrouds of greenery and the infinite smell of moist earth.

"If you're having relationship troubles maybe I can help?" began Snow.

"Oh yes," said Hook sarcastically. "The banished princess who has known true and utter devoted love her entire life is about to counsel me on rickety love? What do you know about tempestuous love? And even more, what do you know about love and loss? Have you ever loss true love…no…so don't lecture me about love…I don't want to hear it." He regretted the words as soon as they had left his lips. Snow was only trying to be nice; he knew that. Why'd he always have to be so damn hostile?

"I understand where you and Regina have common grounds," said Snow softly. Hook flinched and avoided her gaze, so Snow White continued, "do you love her?"

"What?"

"Do you love Regina?"

"I-I," he faltered. "I don't know. I think I'm falling in love with her…but, but, it scares me..."

"Why?" asked Snow. Hook couldn't believe he was having this conversation with Snow White; Regina's mortal enemy.

"Because I loved once, truly and deeply and I never thought I could love again…and it scares me so. What happens if I lose Regina like I lost Milah?" He spoke numbly, his voice devoid of all emotion.

"How do you do it?" asked Snow White.

"Do what love?"

"Speak with so much passion and nonchalance at the same time – don't you find it exhausting being so enigmatic?"

"Only when I'm around Regina." He smiled at the thought. Her sassiness always outweighed his.

"Just promise me something," began Snow. "Don't break her heart."

"I break a lot of women's hearts love," said Hook with a wink. "It's just my unintentional good looks."

Snow White rolled her eyes. "Hook! I'm beings serious…if you break her heart, she'll be…broken."

"Isn't she already broken?" asked Hook, remembering all the times he had seen Regina cry on his ship.

"No," whispered Snow. "She's fragmented. Part of me thinks that she'll never be broken; she's so strong, but she wears her heart on her sleeve and I'm begging you not to break it."

Hook stared at Snow. He understood her plea. He saw guilt in her eyes and heard redemption in her voice.

"I promise," began Hook slowly. "I'll never break the Queen's heart."

"You promise?" Snow White sounded apprehensive.

"I promise." For once in his life, he meant every syllable.


	24. Chapter 24

They all reunited as though they had never parted. The princess, the prince, the Queen, the Saviour, the Dark one and the pirate – all together again – all united against Pan. But the person, Regina had longed to see again was Hook. He stood alone, to the side of the group and Regina joined him; her hands buried in the pockets of her trench coat.

"Hey," she whispered.

"Hey," he replied.

"Baelfire's alive," said Regina, evaluating the man that was Henry's biological father.

"Yes," said Hook.

For a moment, there was no movement, except for the Queen and pirate staring at one another; the sober assessment of two lost souls, who wondered where they stood with one another. It was Hook who spoke eventually.

"I missed you, love," he said quietly. Regina couldn't bring herself to return the words, but deep down in her heart, she missed him more. "Regina…ever since you left…I realised how much you mean to me…and, and, I think…I love you."

Regina closed her eyes. Part of her heart sank. She feared those words. Feared those words as much as she feared Pan. But a larger part of her heart soared – it was everything she had ever wanted to hear. She was loved. He loved her. Love had always been, and still was her dream.

"Regina…" began Hook tentatively. "Please say something." He wanted to touch her; caress her face and run his fingers through her hair, and it took all his mental strength to keep still and wait for her to say something.

Regina's mind was in warzone. Yes, she loved him, she knew that now, but she her inner voice was telling her that she couldn't love…after all, she was the evil Queen…

"Your love is unrequited," she said bluntly.

Hook's face looked like she had just ripped out his heart and stomped on it…and never had she felt more vicious and nasty then she did now. She turned and began to walk away, feeling a single wet tear slip from her eye. It traveled down her cheek, leaving a wet trail in its wake. She made herself invisible and stood at the corner of the clearing, watching Hook stand alone, his head buried in his hands. He looked like a man who had endured a thousand sleepless nights. She wanted to wrap her arms around him. David eventually approached Hook.

"Are you alright, mate?"

"I did something incredibly stupid," said Hook honestly.

"With Regina?"

"Yes," said Hook. "I looked at her and told her I loved her. And not just an 'I love you, girl.' It was an 'I love you,' as in 'I'm in love with you.' It was so dramatic. So dumb. I was practically seventeen again and it was the most bullshit pretentious moment of my entire life, but probably the most honest…"

"How'd she take it?" asked David.

Hook stared at him somberly. "She didn't," replied Hook.

Regina flinched, and walked away. Why did she always screw things up? At first, she thought he was playing tricks on her but now, she could see, from the broken look on his face that he had truly meant everything he had said. That only made Regina feel worse. She walked away. Walked until night gave way to dawn. The growing day lit the sky with imponderable brilliance, fighting the darkness that Neverland was proudly renowned for. She couldn't appreciate the aw-inspiring sunrise though – not when a maelstrom of chaotic emotions was seeping through her veins and plaguing her mind.

He loved her.

He loved her.

_He loves me. _

The tears slid faster now, and for once, Regina realised they were tears of happiness, not of sorrow. But she had pushed Hooked away, just like she pushed everyone away. Why did she do that? Why?

Her promise to Tinkerbell loomed in her mind, and she felt even guiltier. All these thoughts and regrets filled Regina's mind and she didn't notice where she was walking. Her feet moved as though they had a will and mind of their own. The woodlands of Neverland teamed with life. Strange birds chirped and screeched to one another from the branches of trees where they competed with squirrels for nuts and seeds. The wind was rushing through the forest, like a rolling sea, and if Regina had been paying attention, she would have realised that it was not the wind, but her own magic, leading her along, pushing her forward like hands on her back. She was preoccupied with her own thoughts that she couldn't even begin to imagine that her magic was leading her to the place she had longed to be the most – beside Henry – to Hook.

Regina choked up as she stood and watched Hook. He had run into the forest after she left.

"Hook?" Regina stepped tentatively into the clearing. Hook did not turn around. He stood, two hands pressed against a tree and his head hanging down; his shoulders rising and falling with each painful breath.

"Regina." That was all he said. After a moment, Hook straightened up and turned and looked at Regina. She looked at him, wincing at the swirling emotions of anger and hurt plastered on his face.

"I'm sorry," she murmured, stepping forward. She saw surprise flit across his features, followed by hurt, trailed instantly by uncertainty, and finally…acceptance.

"Don't be," he said. "No one should ever have to apologize for their feelings. You don't love me, I get that, you don't –"

"I do."

"What?"

"I…" she hesitated. "I do love you."

He stared at unblinkingly, wondering whether she was tricking him. Regina stepped closer and cupped his face between her two soft hands.

"I do love you, Killian," she repeated.

"Say it again," he said, snaking a hand around her waist and pulling her closer to him.

"I love you."

"No," he said, "say my name."

"Killian," she breathed. They were so close, their faces nearly touching, their breathing mingled together. "Killian…Killian…Killian…" His name was like a pray on her lips.

He kissed her then. And one kiss led to another, until they were tearing at each other clothes, ripping them off, until they both tumbled to the forest floor; their passion burning like fire. Leaves crunched under their naked bodies as they moved and rolled, playing a sexual game of domination, meanwhile murmuring sweet apologies into each other ears. Birds took off from nearby branches as they passion-filled moans pierced the air, and Regina repeated his name over and over again. Killian. Killian. Killian.

Afterwards she layed in his arms, surrounded by a sea of forest leaves. Leaves were in her hair, and clung to her skin like parasites. Hook pulled her closer, so that her head rested on his bare chest and delicately began to pull the leaves out of her hair.

"I want to wrap you in silk sheets, like the royalty you are," he said.

"You just have," she whispered in return.

**Finally, a cheesey, lovey-dovey scene. What'd you guys think?**


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